SPIRIT X|is
Black B.I.T.C.H. of the Bayou
Writer/Poet/Personality
Bayou Bio
Born and raised in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, I realized that I had a passion for writing between 5th-6th grade at
St. Francis Xavier School. I was told that I actually had a talent for writing by my English teacher, a nun, Sister Rebecca Carlos, who, if I'm not mistaken, was a Carmelite Nun originally from Trinidad or somewhere similar in accent. She was a brilliantly Brown-skinned, petite, stern, amazingly great teacher; which I honestly, found true with most of the teachers at that school, at that time--nun or not.
I remember her exact words after handing back a paper I had written about something wild like an alien takeover or UFO's, something different and imaginative-which was the task to think outside normal bounds; she wrote atop the paper in red ink-"you have a talent for writing, keep writing!" To this very day, I remain a true proponent and ally of great teachers, while still being reflectively stunned by her being able to see that in me so early, which I didn't truly see in myself, at least not seriously at that point in time--it was something I was able to do to escape…
escape the real life horrors I faced.
Hell, I wanted to be a singer--actually practicing my best
"Since I Lost My Baby"-by Luther Vandross-performance on my walks to school, where a special slight detour under the interstate offered amazing acoustics--because I simply LOVE MUSIC and actually thought and fantasized about being a performer. A MAJOR INFLUENCE on what shaped how I focused my energy while inspiring me at the same time, lay in a series of television shows, the main influencer though, was Good Times, especially when they added the role of "Penny" played by one of my ALL TIME SERIOUS IDOLS, Janet Jackson,(Miss Jackson-if ya' Nasty)!
If you don't know what that particular phrase means you can get off my page right now & look it up!
Even as a child, Miss Jackson was a superior actress and was developing her singing voice before our eyes into the powerhouse and genuinely talented superstar she IS, and will ALWAYS BE! She's ALWAYS nailed every role I've ever seen her In; as an actor and as a musician, there's NO comparison to the talent Miss Jackson brings to the table. That show itself, opened a mighty door to insight of injustices, among other things, for me; it shaped me in ways I hold near to this day.
I'll be writing more on that later, bet.
Now, I, unlike the fabulous Janet, can't carry a tune in a backpack strapped in tight with gorilla glue holding it in,
but, I do know what I like, I know real singers and that there's no way to duplicate music played by real musicians.
No matter what MIX machine you use, the real musicians playing will always be the best sounding; and I truly love and appreciate a plethora of music genres. Music and comedy played tremendous roles in my life from as far back as I can recall to present day, and I don't see that changing, ever.
Being different, an outcast, black sheep of the family, one to defeat statistical outcomes or results is kinda' all I've ever known:
to quote and paraphrase one of my FAVORITE bands, Whitesnake, "here I go again on my own...going down the only road I've ever known; like a drifter I was born to walk alone….alone, along this street of dreams"--was a literal soundtrack of my life! Right up until this very day, I remain a TRULY different-minded individual than anyone I've ever known--my mind and disposition is just wired in a different way.
I don't subscribe to the "normal" types of things that most people are willing to accept, nor do I adhere to most preconceived notions about what a woman, a black woman-is or can be.
I never set expectations to meet-only to exceed and I continuously defy odds or obstacles stacked against me.
I speak of these things, not out of braggadocio, but out of a genuine realness in how I relate emotions-be they great pain, trauma, suffering, love, pride or power-with God's guidance and great mercy, I survived. It wasn't an easy battle, and I have fought with, questioned and denounced religion and God on a couple critical life moments, to end up separating completely from one FOREVER--you don't need "religion" to believe in God--religion is manmade, God is...GOD!
In college, I learned It's even possible to NOT believe in God, and be a decent productive person as well as learn about different types of religions and religious practices instead of forming instant judgement or instant unwillingness to explore DIFFERENCES, which actually make us unique...once you drop bullshit you've been taught and perform critical thinking against bias, (thanks Philosophy & World Religions classes and professors)
you open yourself up to ACCEPTANCE of things and people who are different; and if you’re good at it, you’ll begin to see beauty and fascination in what you didn’t know versus what you thought you knew...and weigh the two…
that's called growth.
I am a born ACTIVIST, Wordsmith, FIERCELY LOYAL Leo, and a survivor of childhood & adult abuse, assaults, and rape-which brings me back to the need to escape...through 4 outlets; education, writing, music and comedy.
I have always loved to learn, and my introduction to Politics was another critical point in my education and outlook, once again, inspired by a teacher.
Coach G., Tara High School;
He taught my first Civics class, and I was literally hooked on political news, how government is run, State & Federal government, the 3 branches of government and what they do; and, as an adult, I can place a particular pulsating voice to many political and social issues by having lived and/or experienced them personally-with embedded political insight & passion from my late teens into my adult life.
To put simply what isn't a simple thing--there's NOTHING operating in America or the world that doesn't involve politics, so, the best thing is get to understanding it and the role you have in making it work or making it better--because it's in every literal aspect of your life whether you know it or not, whether you acknowledge it or not.
My first serious acceptance of writing as a true talent vs singing which is what I loved and wanted to do but, couldn't do well; I was transformed and transfixed when I gave birth to my first baby (BEFORE the human ones) where writing evolved into therapy--
POETRY.
In poetry, especially 'Spoken Word'- you are able to express and convey passion & pain, BRUTAL reality, flow & verse-from your perspective, and in your voice.
I knew that I didn’t want to do sappy gush-like poetry like some things I’d read in school; I wanted it to represent where and who I am, even if it crossed some other’s boundaries--I’d go there...and I’d go HARD, remaining true to the story I’m telling.
It became and currently remains my style-actually inspired by my favorite Aunt, Gloria-Dean, and one of my favorite comedians, who said once when describing her Broadway stand-up shows:
"I want you to SEE what it is I'm saying to you"--and to me, that translated into painting a picture with words, movements, and expressions that one can see--meaning, I not only hear the words, I feel them, I can take myself where you are inside the story you're telling….and no one does artful storytelling better than Whoopi Goldberg.
Needless to say, I've been inspired and shaped by many people, places, and events of which details will unravel slowly but surely and in depth as time proceeds.
I seriously think I could make a fleet of sailors blush; and it’s because of my mother’s EXPLICIT language; it was the same with friends of hers like her longtime friend-"Poochie"(RIP). As a young adult visiting her home, it was often a jaw-dropping experience, even if the experience would be brief.
With greetings like "hey gal how’s that pussy hangin’?"-one was often left wondering....how would I answer that question if I knew it were coming? Ok, maybe I’m the only one who’d wonder that, but, it helped me to think on my feet, however, I digress. The essential point is, EXTREMELY EXPLICIT language has been a part of my life since my ears could receive and translate words and it was really rampant on my mother’s side of the family and with her friends or associates, NOT to mention, stand up comedy, namely, Richard Pryor, who is MY "King of Comedy".
He ALWAYS used THIS, word… like, EVERY OTHER WORD, was this word-that was like an ear lashing for me. Usage of this despicable word does NOT negate talent, but, my GOD we are gonna' have to do BETTER than this!
Of ALL the things I say and the way that I say them, there is ONE word that I wish I could ABSOLUTELY EXCOMMUNICATE from EVER being used AGAIN! Its putrid pungency emerged in degradation from the tongues of wretches and has it’s EVOLUTION of idiocy among most African Americans who enjoy and employ it. I’m really sorry you see yourselves that way and that you REFUSE to loose that chain that binds; African Americans use it in too many forms, too casually.
It is the most REPREHENSIBLE VILE DESPICABLE DEROGATORY WORD EVER UTTERED....
“N*GGER" and ANY OF ITS REPULSIVE OFFSPRING;
that for some reason, Black folk seem to think is somehow different if it ends in ANYTHING other than "ER"--how positively RIDICULOUS of you-& honestly, it all sounds the same to me…
TRIFLING and IGNORANT!
More to come on that subject, LOTS MORE!
With a SURGE of Louisiana street wisdom, PLENTY of it’s flavor, and the MOST COLORFUL use of language and homespun phrases you’ve ever witnessed on a myriad of topics; I will, with my words, celebrate OR decimate.
I am thankful NOT to have to subscribe to the restrictions/limitations that real journalists must or usually adhere to. I write with a combination of slang, FACTS, opinion and language that you might experience in your living room, conversing with family or friends.
I can write on any level, and consider myself to be an “Intellectual Thug" of sorts; relating to different realms of life’s lessons-from the Projects to PRESENT.
I have STRONG opinions and beliefs to express….my way, the way...I say
From a cornucopia of companies and government entities, to my own family and friends, my own failures, my bouts with depression, PTSD, and BPD, up to and past the pure WEAKNESS of MANY DEMOCRATS in POWER, to the PURE COWARDICE of the GOP, Qanon Qunts, etc.
NOTHING and NO ONE is EXEMPT or OFF LIMITS….neither is ANYTHING or ANYONE I SPEAK OR WRITE about.
My pen is my sword, my shield, my gauntlet…
Ready?
Set?
Better get your shit in 'CHECK'!
